Advent Calendars.

I just opened the last bit of my advent calendar.

Twas a bounty. Not what I'd hoped for really. Quite fancied a nice galaxy caramel to end the countdown.
It's my favourite you see.

Feel free to send me any donations of Galaxy Caramels that you don't want, or Hey if you're reading this Mr/Mrs Galaxy Caramel company people. I'll be more than willing to enter into a sponsorship deal?

I'll turn this whole blog into a galaxy caramel wrapper.

:)

Anyway that's beside the point really.
I just wanted to ask. Why chocolate? What relation to Christmas does Chocolate in a countdown calendar have to the birth of jesus christ?


Was he given a nice lump of Jewish chocolate from one of the three kings?

ALTHOUGH....

In one of my favourite episodes of Bottom. Spudgun, Dave Hedgehog and Eddie Play the three kings and one of the gifts is a packet of Terry's All Gold. Get it? Gold...Terry's all gold ach never mind.

It's funny and you should watch it.

If you know the answer to my many questions up there then please get in touch.

DIGG

Holy buggerations how much of an arsehole is DIGG.com


I have submitted so many stories yet none of them even seem to make it past the 1 Digg mark.
How in god's name do these people manage to get 1000's of diggs on their shitty story about how the stocks and the bonds are going all over the place, when I post one of a fat person on a moped and it gets none. Well apart from the 1 digg that I give it.

Surely someone else in the world of digg must find it funny. Perhaps everyone on digg is just out to get me.

Oh there's that pube beezer again with another of the funniest things I've ever seen. Shan't digg it though. Just because I'm a dick.


Digg me please.

:)

Making a Website

This will probably bore a lot of you but I thought I would post it anyways.

I spend a lot of my time making websites and trying to SEO them to get a higher rank in Google so people like you can find them.
:)

BUGGER ME it's hard.

Trying to get good sites to link to mine and to build up enough links to get anywhere near a good position is hard as shit. Old shit thats been fossilized for millions of years.

Hopefully one day I will achieve what I have set out to do. One day....

Sorry

Sorry I haven't written on here for a few days, not that anyone reads this shite anyways, but oh well it's a way to vent myself.

Been busy working and stressing.

Bloody college portal broke making me think that I'd been booted off one of my courses. Turns out it was just malfunctioning and wasn't showing some courses to people. Needless to say I found this out after a night of very little sleep and shitting myself wondering what the hell I was going to tell my parents, because after all they are paying for me to do this course.

Anyways look out for some new posts coming as I have a fair few things to rant about.


:)

Christmas Rush

God I hate the xmas rush.

Why do people always decide to leave things until the very last minute?

You have a whole year to buy things yet you come into my work at two minutes before closing time and buy 15 things which need to be collected from the back warehouse.

It's arseholes like that, that make my job a pain in the arse and my tea burnt.

Anyways I just hate the claustrophobic of all the shops and the fact you need to be either a size zero or have enough strength to push people out of the fucking way just to get from A to B.

Buy things of the internet you shit people. That's what it's there for and you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own house.

That's what I'm going to do when I have a house of my own. Internet shop. I might start throwing things at people in shops now to make them too scared to come back.

Sounds like a plan.

OH and another thing.

Why the hell does my boss decide to put on as little staff as she possibly can at the busiest time of year?
It just makes our job a hell of a lot more stressful and hectic.

Hair

I need a haircut.
I haven't had one in almost a year and to be honest I just can't be arsed.
I straighten my hair so much that it breaks the ends off keeping it at an even length constantly.
Yes you did hear right. I do straighten my hair.
WHAT ABOUT IT?

A lot of men do it these days.

A lot of very straight men.

I bet if Al Pacino had more hair then he would straighten it. That's just how straight men are these days that straighten their hair.

.....


..........

..............

*retreats to cupboard before people start pointing the gay stick at me*



p.s. The picture isn't of me before you start saying yeah you do need a fucking haircut...Hippy.

Blackberry Storm

I gots myself a blackberry. I've been wanting one for a while and after all my waiting I've finally got one.

Oh I do love it. The only thing that annoys me about it is the fact that the battery lasts about 10 minutes (slight exaggeration). I charged it fully overnight last night and went straight to work. I went to check my phone about an hour or so later to find that battery had already dropped down half a segment. To me that's a bit shit.

I've been living with an iPhone for the past year and the iPhone will be a tough phone to beat.

The biggest downfall with the storm is the fact it doesn't have Wi-fi, but I have unlimited internet access so it doesn't really bother me.

I suppose that I'll just have to keep using it and see how it gets on.

Twiglets

So I walked into work this morning to find that there were randomly like 6 tubs of Twiglets just lying about on the racking all throughout the stockroom.

I dry sicked in my mouth.

How anyone could like these is beyond me. They look like twigs.
I understand thats the whole reason behind the name, but why would you want to eat something that looks like a stick unless you were a beaver?

They don't even taste remotely nice at all. They seem to be one of these things that either you love or you hate and I hate them. God I just for some reason someone dunking Twiglets into Coleslaw that made me nearly be properly sick.

Worst thing is that now it is Xmas, they will no doubt be placed on every single table at every single house for all the guests to nibble on.

Don't worry, I'll just be sitting in the corner looking on in disgust at anyone who reaches for the bowl.

Heroes

OMG have you seen heroes it's getting amazing again.

I've been watching Season 3 religiously and it is getting into the good but complex bits again. I love how things are twisting with it and you don't know which way things are going to go.
I guess that the wait for the writers strike was worth it as they haven't failed to deliver the goods.

Unlike the bore that was Hiro in Ancient Japan at the beginning of Season 2. That was possibly one of the most dragged out storylines in any Tv series I have ever watched.
I suppose it was key to the story and I do love Hiro as a character but if I had to watch him in Ancient japan for any longer I fear I would have stopped watching it completely.

But he's back and better than ever.

I want to divulge and discuss so much more, but I fear I will ruin storylines for some people if they haven't seen it.
That would make me feel bad

:(


Heroes WOO

The common cold.

The common cold

Bloody right it's common. Every bugger in town seems to have it.
The cold is the biggest sluts of all known Virus's. Or would it be Viri for plural? Hmmmm that's something I'll have to research. Just like sheep, cos you don't seem to hear people talking about Sheeps?

Anyways....
Is it just me or do I seem immune to every single type of remedy for it. Surely I'm meant to become immune to the virus rather than the medication that's meant to help treat it.

Nothing seems to work at all in aiding my speedy recovery. I've had constant sniffles for the past 4 months or so and they just don't seem to go away. My mum always tells me it's because I don't get enough sleep and I'm run down. MEH.

She's probably right mind you, but if I did sleep a lot then this blog would be a bit shit. I don't sleep as I'm out living life and getting experiences so I can come on here and talk complete and utter rubbish about them.

Someone find a proper cure for the common cold soon or I shall be upset. Upsetter than I already am.

Social Networking gone a step too far?

I'm Poken you

Poken

Look at this shite. These are little characters you carry around with you and they store all your social networking information. If you are lucky enough to meet someone else with a "poken" then all you have to do is make them "high-5" and that exchanges the contact information between them and when you next sign onto your social network profile, you will automatically be added to the other person's friends list.

These are priced at around $20 a pop and will no doubt be the next craze to go around schools.

A pile of money wasting shite if you ask me. Who the hells going to buy a miniature character to swap social networking information with someone else? Ten year olds that's who, but wait most if not all social networks have an age limit on how old people can be before they can sign up.

Oh looks like the Poken people just shot themselves in the foot. Unless theres a certain clique of older people who decide it will be hip and cool to have one, then it's just lame.


I can imagine someone going up to another person in a bar and being like hey you got a poken?

Definitely the way forward in meeting new people.

Facebook

Ah good old facebook. Complete and utter bullshit that seems to have become superbly popular for being the best social networking site in the world.

BOLLOCKS.

Facebook is only good if you want to be bitten by vampires or running your own mob. In other words being bugged out of your tits by invites to shitty applications every two minutes.

I mean who in their right mind would want to know "which type of cocktail drunk by that man over there when he goes to the pub after having sex with his dog at the back of the bike sheds are you?"

The applications people build are complete and utter nonsense and do nothing but take up my time deleting all the fucking invites.

I could have a lot of time for facebook if it got rid of the unnecessary features that it seems to love.
Bring back the Marketplace you shits, I lived in that place for a good 4 months and it brought me a lot of prosperity.

The rise in social networks these days seems to be ever increasing with new ones popping up every second day. When will it end?

Ending on a high note though, I just got a bounty in my advent calendar......Time to update my Facebook Status.

:)

Oh and by the way why when i googled for facebook in google images did this come up as the 4th picture?



I think my point has been proven right there.

FACEBOOK SUCKS TITS

Born to be wild

I had to post this on here because I laughed so hard that I cried.


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/704953/

I have nothing against fat people but how someone can let themselves get to this size is just beyond me completely.

This video pokes fun at that and is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time........could just be my sense of humour though.

Coleslaw- What's it all about?

Something that seriously pisses me off is Coleslaw. I mean what the shit.

Who the hell would invent putting raw vegetables in a creamy tangy sauce and then dumping it on a plate randomly with any meal you get at a restaurant. It just looks disgusting too.

Chicken burger and chips. Oh we'll put a blob of coleslaw on the plate too just to put them off their meal completely.

Baked Potato, Don't forget the coleslaw.

Next thing they'll be doing is putting coleslaw on soup as some sort of floating island.

I love all the vegetables that are in Coleslaw on their own, but combined it makes something that is putrid and completely sickening.

To sum it up there are three terrible things in this world.

3. Jandies ( a form of cooties only known about in the north east of scotland, resulting in scabby legs)

2. Aids ( Worldwide Killer)

1. Coleslaw (Worst of the worst invented by the devil himself)


I'm sure there are some people out there that do like coleslaw and are wondering what I'm going on about. Well I'm afraid that you are just sick. How can you say something like that is nice at all.

I won't rest until coleslaw is banned in every country in the world. Apart from the shitty ones because nobody really cares about them.


For now though COLESLAW = DEATH ON A PLATE.

President Mugabe isn't intimate enough?

Was scanning through sky news when I came across this.


Apparently President Mugabe isn't "intimated"?

Does he not get enough sex, perhaps he needs a dose of Pele's Penis pills to help him get it up.

This could very well be my last post as the Zimbabwe government may be out to get me if they see this.
So I bid you farewell just incase.

Foot in the brain

This story is amazing.

We've all heard of babies that have been born with extra limbs and deformities, but this one by far one of the most abnormal that I've seen.

Doctors operating on a tumour in a baby boy's brain found it to be a tiny foot.

Read the full story here

I wish the baby a speedy recovery and hope that all is well.

Man Repays his Debt 39 years on

This story shows that there are still people in the world that can keep a promise. What amazes me is that he sent it to an address that the man may have moved from many years ago.

Looks like society has changed a lot since those days and a whole new generation of people are completely different to this.

Full story here

PS3 Home- What a cunt.

So PS3 home was officially released for open beta last week and I downloaded it straight away.

Well what can I say about it......... GET MORE FUCKING SERVERS SONY.


Shit the bed! They release one of the biggest hyped things on the PS3 since its launch and with more delays than a kid with a stutter. Yet in the week since it has been released I have been able to connect possibly three times, every other time I get an error C-913 or some other shitty code that means nothing to me.

Surely sony should realise that the demand was going to be huge for it and with more people getting a new PS3 console at christmas, the increase in numbers wanting to use it will be horrific. You better get your fingers out of your arses and get something done about that soon.

On the plus side, once you are in the home surroundings are quite fun and just like a graphically enhanced version of The Sims but without the shitting, cooking, sexing and working.

You can buy add-ons for your character costing usually about 59p per item. There is also the chance to buy different items for your house and different houses. Even though there is really no need for them. Bowling is fun but it's hard to get a spot as it's usually packed, same with the pool tables.

Best thing to do is probably just run about and body pop in people's faces.
Nothing better than a virtual body pop insult.

Top 10 Gayest Moments in Sports

Found this today on Ebaumsworld and thought I would share it with you all as it made me laugh.


Especially the 6th image


Hope you enjoy

Top 10 Gayest moments in sports caught on film

UFO's spotted over the midlands?

So there has been a news report that UFO's have been spotted over the Midlands in England.

After watching the video it does seem quite strange that there are so many lights in one place and I can't think of any sort of explanation for them.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/Mystery-UFO-Lights-Over-Halesowen-In-the-Midlands/Article/200812315187546?lpos=Strange_News_Carousel_Region_3&lid=ARTICLE_15187546_Mystery_UFO_Lights_Over_Halesowen_In_the_Midlands

Have a look for yourself and see what you think of them to be.
No doubt some prank or completely logical explanation for it, but what if the aliens really are coming? Perhaps it's time to dawn tin foil helmets and bulk buy butt plugs so they can't invade you.

Toast

Now here's something I love.

Toast.

So simple to make and so good. Although I always feel that I need more after I've eaten it.
The best thing to ever go on toast is Flora Buttery. If you haven't already tried it then get yourself to the shops and buy some.
Without a doubt it's the best butter available.

There are so many uses for toast. Cheese Toasties are another of my favourites, but not with any of your Lea and Perrins shite. That just ruins it.

I am willing to take suggestions on other things to try on toast, but it better be good.

This is why xmas trees should be banned

Look at this video and see why Xmas trees should be banned.

If it doesn't convince you to get rid of your tree, then at least make sure you turn off the lights when you go to sleep please.

Xmas- WTF

Who the fuck invented Christmas?

Surely you could have picked a better time of year for the big celebrations and the time when most street parties happen instead of a time when there are blizzards and storms-a-plenty.

Also it happens to be my birthday on Xmas day which makes it even more of a kick in the nuts. Spending my birthday going from house to house visiting people is not my idea of fun. Every other person gets to spend their birthday in their own house with everyone coming to visit them.

Why should mine be any different?

Because it's a time of yule tide giving and family? Bullshit. It's my fucking birthday and i'll do what I bloody well want to. Now fetch me that pizza from the oven and hand me my PS3 controller, I'm playing Resistance.

Now that's my idea of a birthday.

Shame it's far from reality and i'll no doubt be sitting in another relatives house eating until I can't eat any more and sitting about waiting for the adults to finish having their coffee's and after dinner mints.
I'm still a kid at heart, 22 or not, I still would rather just go home and play with all the new things I've got for my birthday.

7 days to go and I really still can't be arsed.

Welcome

Welcome to Meh a Blog. My name is Peter and I'm 21 from Scotland. I will be using this to rant and rave about all the latest things that annoy me or that I like.

It will probably cause a lot of dispute and perhaps even anger a few people, but hey that's what the internet is all about. Causing a ruckus.


So feel free to have a bitch back at me about things if you believe I have my head up my own arse or even help me in ganging up on the whiney bitches that don't like what I say.

Either way enjoy it and come back for more if you want.